“Apologize and cancel tomorrow.” That was the instruction. Sounds simple enough, right?
But if you are in an unhealthy relationship – one build upon manipulation and co-dependence – it can be extremely challenging. Especially if the relationship has had years of conditioning.
That is where I found myself next. When I finally got the nerve to pick up the phone, despite the butterflies in my tummy and the digging up the consolation of knowing I could just hang up if it got out of hand, only to find out I would be doing it in person. (They) were coming over.
Since moving to another state in the next fifteen minutes was not an option, all I could do was pray for help and strength.
It didn’t go too bad. There were the expected as well as the unexpected tactics. The sighs, the guilt trips, the lies – pulling out all the stops, but I stayed strong, knowing I was doing the Lord’s will.
By the time it was over – I had a headache. But – it was over. I had done it. The Lord had helped me through it, and it was over.
Relieving ourselves of those unhealthy relationships is no easy task. It is painful emotionally. It is painful mentally, sometimes even physically. Especially if it is a long-standing relationship that has been allowed to spiral out of healthy control to where your liberty, your agency, your self-image has been compromised. The agony of merely contemplating such a separation can be excruciating. How does one stand up for oneself when manipulation is all you’ve ever known? How does one stand up and say, “No! I am worthy of joy, and I deserve peace!”?
The only way is with the Lord’s help.
Any negative relationship, every unhealthy relationship, every relationship that drains you of energy should be carefully evaluated. Being freed of the chains is so liberating. It frees you of the emotional, mental, and spiritual weight that holds you down. That keeps you from reaching for your dreams. From reaching for those relationships that will lift you and bring you joy.
The Lord was showing me how to re-evaluate a relationship which I could not delete, but I could not continue with its current schematics. He gave me the strength to pull away far enough that I could allow the seed of forgiveness to be planted. It would be a while before it would be nourished enough to grow. But at least now – it was possible.
Sunshine along the Way 