from xenos.org
No matter how you go about following the Lord or making Him a major part of your life, inevitably you are going to get slapped with what I call a ‘T-n-T moment.’
(T-n-T means TEST and TRUST)
This is where the Lord presents you with a “test” and you are expected to “trust” Him and complete the test with flying colors. Hahahaha
Well mine came on Day 18 (my first one anyway). Just a Disclaimer (or a plea) – Please Don’t Laugh at Me Too Hard – L lol
K So my internet was down on my laptop. I couldn’t get it to pull up no matter what I did – scream, yell, jump up and down, make funny faces – the stupid web would not come up!
During my dilemma, I felt instructed to pray for the Lord to hook my internet connection back up. (Don’t laugh!) And so, of course, I Did. With child-like faith, I just knew that God would get my internet back and running. I did wonder if it was too trivial a request, but I figured if He said to do it – it couldn’t be too trivial! Right? If He can part the Red Sea, halt the sun in the sky, and topple the walls of Jericho, He could and certainly would do this small miracle for a humble daughter who only wanted to serve Him. I just knew He would! Right? Right!
Well He didn’t. I got back on my computer, held my breath, and tried the internet … nothing. I tried again. I winked at it. I pet it. I read scripture and tried again, but nothing!!
I felt horrible! I felt like I failed. I didn’t have enough faith. I wasn’t enough.
And then I got frustrated. Very Frustrated! I cried. I snapped at my kids. I ranted at the Lord, and totally flung open the door of my mind for Satan to fill my head full of doubts. Doubts of myself. Doubt of my God. And doubts of what I had been doing on this journey.
Yah, it was all rather pitiful.
But shortly I realized that this self-defeating attitude wasn’t what I wanted. I humbled myself and got on my knees to beg for forgiveness. And there I was – back to crying (yeah, I’m a big boober J).
I felt like I had failed the test … but had I?? Maybe the real test was how long I let the natural man rant and rail, and how long it would take for me to come back. Cause really, it took me less than a half an hour or so. That sounded pretty good compared to giving up all together. Yes, I did tell the Lord that He was a BIG SNOT – but I repented!
There was a little bit of time where I did feel ‘cut off’ so to speak, and I understand. Consequences and all that – I use them frequently in my own child-rearing. And I definitely missed that connection. But when it returned, there was total peace.
T-n-T moments are justly named. If they are handled wrong, they can blow up in your face and leave you nothing but ashes. Or you can adjust your pack and use it to sky-rocket you to bigger and better things. The choice is yours …
P.S. By the way, the internet was fixed by our ‘techy’ friend by a simple press of the WiFi button. – Remember – I said “don’t laugh!” 🙂
Sunshine along the Way 